live a life worth living

my first ever FB note was a call for my friends to step up and make a difference. the note talked of a special burden God placed in my heart for those suffering from cancer. i spoke of a young lady named michelle who needed a bone marrow transplant and encouraged each of you to register at the national marrow donor program. my heart breaks in remembering that michelle passed away on july 25th 2009. her family and friends are still continuing michelle's legacy. you can read about it here. http://projectmichelle.com/blog/

today i write on behalf of a little girl, kate who has been battling a very malignant and aggressive brain cancer since june 29th 2009. my sister and BIL used to go to the same church as kate's family in california and this is how i found out about their story.

read the 'summary' story here:http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate/mystory

read the updated journal here:http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate/journal

kate's mom's most recent journal entry shares of their desire to help other families in similar situations as they have felt so blessed by the help and outpourings of others. last year, they did 'kate's crazy cool christmas' and requested that toys be donated to the children's hospital so other cancer patients could receive gifts. this year they are once again doing 'kate's crazy cool christmas', in a slightly different way.

they are choosing 10 families to give gift bags to. these gift bags will hold different things that they felt were helpful during the difficult times. things like starbucks, target, restaurant, visa gift cards, etc... along with a separate gift bag with some items such as jesus storybook bible, esv journaling bible, and/or charles spurgeon's "beside still waters".

calvin and i are donating 4 jesus storybook bibles to kate's crazy cool christmas. sophia has one of these and we find it wonderful for her and us. it gives us so much pleasure to know that another family can read stories of Jesus to their child.

i hope you'll join us in sharing Jesus' love with the 10 families that aaron, holly and kate choose to bless this christmas. if you're interested in giving something, send me an email and i'll give you the address where you can send or have the items sent directly to.

in these small little ways, Jesus can shine.

oh my darling .

sophia at birth

sophia at 6.5 months

the hat from the hospital still fits! :)

my non-cuddler

i always thought my baby would love to cuddle. when i worked in the day care center, every baby loved to be hugged and snuggled. when i hold my friend's babies, they all love to be hugged and snuggled. sadly, sophia does not like to be hugged or snuggled. she makes noises stating her dissatisfaction. one would think she was flying vertically. her body is curved outwards against the curve of my body. and even then, i try to curve my body towards her.

recently it made me feel sad and i would kind of force her to me so we could be closer and bond. but that didn't feel worth it nor did she appreciate it. understandably so. so i stopped and try not to take it personally. there are moments however when i feel like, "sheesh. i only grew you inside my belly for 10 months and then pushed you out without pain meds so your system wouldn't have to experience drugs (as well as other reasons) and now lactate so you can eat and grow... oh, that's all." but it's too early to start the guilt tripping. don't cha think? :P

alas, God made my daughter as she is for very specific reasons. it's my job to love her and grow her as she is.

my jacked up dislocated pinky :: part II

turns out the pinky isn't only dislocated.... the hand doctor said i ruptured a tendon and fractured some bone. :( boo. the remedy is a custom splint worn 24/7 for 6 weeks.

last saturday our football team played in the WFFI new jersey flag football tournament. i only played a handful of times. i really wanted to play more but was rather fearful of getting more injured since i have to take care of sophia. we made it to the tournament of champions though (YAY!) which means we're playing again on nov 20th. maybe, just maybe, the tendon will heal by then and i'll be able to play with my team. :) that would be so awesome.

the team did so well. go vision! this mama was/is so proud of each and every one of you! :)

my jacked up dislocated pinky

football is so fun. less fun is dislocating my finger while playing football. it happened yesterday while i was rushing the QB. i was trying to grab his flag and my poor little pinky got stuck in his pocket. and then there was some twisting and some pain. i remember looking at my hand wondering why it was hurting so much. and then i saw my finger stuck in an abnormal position. fortunately for me there's a doctor on our team. she's a dermatologist but managed to make me believe she knew what she was about to do to my dislocated finger. i braced myself for the pain that is putting a dislocated joint back into its socket but was pleasantly surprised. i felt the clicking but that's about it. i think it was semi-numb because of the initial pain as well as the adrenaline rushing through me.

i always heard people say that if something is dislocated, it'll feel much better (and like normal) after it's popped back into place. is that true? because my finger certainly does not feel normal. it's swollen, bruised, and ugly. i didn't know i was so vain when it came to my fingers. :P i'll find out on friday if anything is torn or fractured as i'm going to see my hand doc then. our tournament is saturday... oh, how i hope i can play.

aside from disliking not being 100%, it's actually really hard to take care of sophia without having full finger capabilities. even in a splint, i notice myself wincing when i pick her up and tend to her needs. ah. the joys of getting older. when i tore my ligament in my ring finger a couple of years ago, i asked the hand doc why it tore this time when on numerous occasions while playing football, my fingers have jammed. he answered that once you hit 30, nothing is the same. man... that was the year i turned 30. i guess at 32, a dislocated finger is to be expected.

BabyBond nursing {giveaway}

UPDATE: and the winner is #30, AmyLynn. congrat's!

::
nursing. sometimes it brings me great joy. other times it brings me to my knees with tears in my eyes. i am thankful for creative folks who try to come up with ways to help a nursing mother.

{{introducing}} 
BabyBond. an innovative idea, this sash covers only mom making for less fight and struggle as my baby isn't draped over by a piece of cloth. BabyBond generously gave me a BabyBond Flex in charcoal to test out. {thank you!} the first thing i noticed was how extremely soft the fabric is. a positive since the fabric touches sophia's face. i like that the babybond flex is easy to use and quickly maneuverable. another great feature is the burp cloth strap. my sophia just loves to spit up which means i find this particular feature rather functional. overall, i found this great to nurse in and with a 5 month old who gets easily distracted, the fabric gave her just enough to play with while still remaining focused.

{{win it}}
how generous of BabyBond to offer a BabyBond Original in turquoise (size 2) for one lucky reader!

mandatory entry: leave a comment
•'like' BabyBond on FB and say that {MustardSeed by.carollai} sent you!

additional entries: leave a separate comment for each
•'follow' my blog
•swing by my etsy shop and tell me your favorite item
•'like' my FB page
•link this giveaway to your blog
•share with us your favorite nursing memory

open to readers worldwide. the winner will be chosen via random.org on 10.24.10 at 11.59pm EST and has 48 hrs to respond.

as if that wasn't marvelous enough, the people at BabyBond are offering 2 BabyBonds for less than $46. that's a 75% discount! this way you can buy one for yourself and another for a friend.

all you need to do is purchase one BabyBond via babiesrus.com and email a copy of your receipt from babiesrus.com to missy@babybondnursing.com. you will receive a discount code to purchase another BabyBond via their website for 75% off! make sure to place the first order on babiesrus.com within 4 days of this post (by monday 10.18.10) and on the babybond website within 24 hours of receiving the discount code.

enjoy!

oozing with love . my sophia

in the beginning, i thought my sophia was goofy cute. then we bonded and i began to grow in my 'like' of her. after some more time i started to love her. just recently though do i look at her and love her SO MUCH and find her to be the most adorable little baby ever. i've become that mommy. :)

let me explain.

her thighs are chubby. they are soft and they like to kick and fling about ever so carefree-ly. they don't have much control yet which just makes it all that much cuter. it makes me smile.

her cheeks {the ones on her face} are similarly chubby and so kissable. i often squish my lips into them. sometimes she'll squish back against my face. i like that.

even her little teeny tiny feet are so irresistible. they're adorably pudgy and rounded-ly rectangular. she finds it funny when i play games with them.

her head is so round and smells a little sweaty most the time. it's not disgusting, it's rather endearing. :)

her chubby arms are just long enough to reach the side of her head to tug on her hair, which she will do when we read together or when she gets tired. those often go hand-in-hand. i like peering down at her when we're reading together. all i see is the top of her head and her cheeks.

when she wakes from a nap, she lets me know by 'calling' me.  when i go to her and her eyes focus on me, she breaks out in a cheeky sweet smile. i love lifting her up from her crib and hugging her close to me.

see what i mean? don't you love her now too? {{smiles}}

my sophia at 4.5 months.