my non-cuddler

i always thought my baby would love to cuddle. when i worked in the day care center, every baby loved to be hugged and snuggled. when i hold my friend's babies, they all love to be hugged and snuggled. sadly, sophia does not like to be hugged or snuggled. she makes noises stating her dissatisfaction. one would think she was flying vertically. her body is curved outwards against the curve of my body. and even then, i try to curve my body towards her.

recently it made me feel sad and i would kind of force her to me so we could be closer and bond. but that didn't feel worth it nor did she appreciate it. understandably so. so i stopped and try not to take it personally. there are moments however when i feel like, "sheesh. i only grew you inside my belly for 10 months and then pushed you out without pain meds so your system wouldn't have to experience drugs (as well as other reasons) and now lactate so you can eat and grow... oh, that's all." but it's too early to start the guilt tripping. don't cha think? :P

alas, God made my daughter as she is for very specific reasons. it's my job to love her and grow her as she is.